Feeling and moving through the anger caused by negative food experiences growing up

A note for those who have a strained part of their relationship with their parents or guardians due to...

- strict food rules in the house (no sugar, no dessert, no carbs....)

- negative body comments about your size or appearance, or negative body comments from parents about their own bodies that impacted your belief system about your own

- constant dieting expectations

- being put on a diet too young, or too often

- being made to play sports, dance, or exercise when you didn't like it, or didn't want to

- not feeling understood or supported while undergoing recovery

If experiences like these have left you feeling angry, indignant, bitter, or unheard - your perspective matters and is valid. Resentment might linger in your mind when you think of growing up - perhaps out of nowhere, or especially strong on some days - and that's ok. Often we're told that our parents were protecting us or setting us up for success in the best way they knew how. That doesn't mean it didn't hurt.

The resentment and anger that lives on doesn't have to stay bubbling just under the surface.. The sadness isn’t something you have to run from, distract yourself from, or pretend it isn’t a problem… if you're ready to start working through it all.

You have the power to create your own experience with food and your body now. No one can take that from you, now. It can finally feel right. 

Exploring reasons why the house you grew up in was the way it was takes time, reflection, and often includes memories that are painful to revisit.

Exploring where you are, reflecting on where you want to go, and figuring out what it takes to get there is a continuous process. It often takes longer than you wish it would. It often means letting go of a comfort zone, and stepping into truths that you’ve avoided facing for some time.

You can do this type of work with a therapist or dietitian who specializes in the field of disordered eating. You can start to have the conversations with your parents or guardians about what you need from them now, or what you'd like to be different. You can start to say things out loud. You can decide how to guide the children you raise in their experiences with food and their body. You can choose to lead yourself and others out of the dark that you knew.

The healing work might be hard and messy, sure. But we've all heard by now, right? It's likely to be worth it.